its only been 30-40 minutes since I just literally smashed your head in with a cop flash light and I was feeling bad about it and I already hear youre telling people you beat my ass? what is with people these days? comparing my face to his right now is like comparing the mona lisa to a car crash victim. except I have a tiny bump on my forehead from when we both fell on the ground. oh well, I waste my feelings on people who aren’t even worth it I guess. Someone told me I’m deep down a nice person but seem like an asshole, maybe they were right, or maybe I’m a psycho — THE psycho who gave this kid what was coming to him. Oh well, next time the assailant wont be so lucky. I hesitated a lot because the last thing you want to do is see in great detail, you, beating who you thought was one of your best friends half to death with a heavy ass huge flashlight. Idk, I guess when you try and picture me coming out of my house with it hidden in my coats sleeve, walking up to my enemy, without him even knowing I have this weapon and me just unleashing this fury out of self defense I must sound pretty psycho. I did what had to be done, I was just really cunning and unfair about it. But hey, life isn’t fair. but you know what is? moving on and not being immature about it. Oh well I guess I wont dwell on it or feel bad about it anymore, if dude is already talking shit to his buddies 30-40 minutes afterwards then maybe it really was some bragging rights thing for him. This dude was never really my friend at all, he just pretended to care about me to get high or gas money for the long time I’ve known him I guess. I dunno, I don’t even like thinking about it and I’m like apologizing to his parents and shit saying I tried to meet with them and confront them about their sons reckless behaviour and handle it like a gentleman and all of this shit and then am ignored by said parents/family after trying so hard just to stop it from happening. Might as well move on with my life, by the way just in case you’re ever thinking about using a cop flashlight as a weapon they’re really light but really thick. the first whack across the temple basically seals the enemies fate, I noticed dude was getting so disoriented as the fight progressed, it was over as soon as I hit him. It was good on his part to take the flashlight out of my hand and throw it on the ground or else I might have not stopped and I could be in prison for X amount of years for aggravated murder right now, I almost didn’t stop if it wasn’t for him. Dude could be dead because I got angry and couldn’t control myself and he’s talking shit to people about it? THAT’S more important to him? dude was lucky he walked away with his life or a functional brain and he’s TALKING SHIT? GOD DAMN the world confuses me. Some people dude. Even after you bash their face in with a flashlight they still don’t learn, I guess the saying “beating some sense into someone” really doesn’t work. Lesson learned: hit harder next time and aim for the fucking mouth so they can’t run their lip afterwards. Jesus christ, smh.
I didnt even want this to happen. I tried to avoid this conflict. I think its pretty gay how my dad came out and cleaned up his face and wiped him down and shit and told me it was my fault when all he had to do was pay my friend the money he owed him. I didnt want to fight this person, I tried all forms of avoiding the conflict to no avail. Long story short, I whacked who I thought was my friend across the face with a cop flashlight pretty good a few times. I didnt want this to happen. why did it come to this? his blood is all over my coat and he got a few good ones in on me, long story short when I say I don’t want to fight — I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to have to do that kind of shit, for someone else. I turned his face into a bloody mess when it could have been avoided, he could have texted or notified jason, it was my responsibility to make sure dude got paid but god damn man. why did I have to bash someones face in with a cop flashlight will someone please tell me why? why did he come to my house? why didnt he just say whatever dude ill pay him on this date yadda yadda instead of ignoring/dodging me and my friend and talkin hella shit. when I asked about the money before dude threatened me, I didnt even threaten him first dude just came at me sideways when all we wanted was the money he borrowed dude. Today is fucked up, just know that I didnt enjoy that shit. I dont enjoy having to do these kinds of things. If it’s necessary whatever, do what it takes to come out of said conflict as the victor, battles aren’t won by amount of punches or whose bigger, this isn’t a kickboxing tournament, this isn’t wrestling, this is reality — I have a cop flashlight and you’re on my property. I tried to avoid this conflict, I warned everyone, I did everything I could. at the end of the day I gotta deal with my own dad telling me everything he told me to do to ensure I hit em first and then have him tell me some bullshit like “I never told you to do that!”, bullshit you didnt. now here I am with this shit on my conscience. to those of you who said I was a pussy and would never do it — doubt me now, as this person whom I thought was my friend but double crossed me bled all over my coat and my driveway. Doubt me now as I stand with heavy shoulders, that are heavy with shame. I tell people all of the time I don’t fight fair, what the fuck is a fair fight? you should have known this was going to happen, you should have never came to my house. you should have went home. you should have paid jason or said something to him or me since his phone blinks in and out. GOD DAMMIT why did this have to happen? now I get to spend the rest of the day thinking about this shit. I don’t even know why I care, he ripped me off and told everyone a bunch of shit about me that wasnt even true so he could save face. I dont even know why I care, everyone is telling me he deserved it. I simply did what must have been done to ensure I was the less fucked up person after this. Oh well, I manned up. I bashed head in with cop flash light. Blood was shed. I emerge with minor brusing and a bump on my forehead, but I feel worse for the opponent. This could have been avoided. I dont know why im sorry, I shouldnt be. I dont even fucking know. I guess whats done is done, long story short Jason is getting paid back. what I had to do to have this done was absolutely ridiculous. Now I get to hear it from every person and their mother in my town about how I’m a psycho when I defended myself, I simply hit first before he was able to subdue me or put me in a choke hold. A lot of people will tell me I’m a deranged aggressive psychopath whose too pussy to use their fists, others will tell me it was justifiable given the conditions he was throwing me under the bus to hella people and lying about me to save face and all of this shit. All of the bullshit I’ve had to deal with involving him goes back so far, it goes back to me even getting arrested the first time over some dumb idea. Whatever, there were really no winners today. This battle was unnecessary, I merely retaliated as anybody else would to defend their well being and the result of that was a bloody mess that I didn’t intend to even cause. People saw me try and avoid it, they can’t even say I didn’t try and stop it from happening. I did everything in my power and it was to no avail. I gotta think about this for a while. I don’t fucking know what else to type, why am I even blogging this? I didn’t do this for fun, theres no bragging rights, this was bullshit. God dammit if it wasn’t for this Vyvanse I probably would have went down a lot sooner, good thing my muscles were lightning fast since amphetamines or I might be the one with a fucked up bloody mess of a face.
long story short: battle is a truly terrible thing, in the heat of battle ones passion may be mistaken for aggression. today was not a display of aggression, I simply did what had to be done. but know that I didn’t enjoy it and it could have been avoided on my opponents part. needless to say nobody will come to my house unarmed intending to fight me anymore. or then again nobody should be fighting me at all, again, this is bullshit.
I’ve been dreaming about you, in a pool of your own blood
With your eyes gouged out by the work of my thumbs
The scent of your insides from under the floorboards,
the perfect perfume for settling the score.
is to keep myself busy. money waits for no man. no fronts, no loans, no shady biz. I am sick of the bullshit, they say mo money mo problems and got dammit theyre right. but if theres anything that fixes your problems its even mo money. so what can I do? get back to the money and keep it BOUT THE MONEY. I’m sick of helping people only to get screwed over, so instead I’ll just peel these hunneds back and forget about everyone whose ever fucked me over. their loss.
and shes a vicious vixen too. The people who have fucked me over when I’ve done nothing but been generous to them are about to find out the hard way how karma fucks you. Oh well, time to cut my losses and get back to the money. Hit me up, it’s clear I need new non-shady people in my life. :)
